Our adventure to start our family has not been a predictable one. I’d always thought we’d have difficulty getting pregnant and that we would need medical help. When our third iui was unsuccessful last year we were ready to move on. We needed to do something new and adoption felt like the right option for us.
We spent months saving and researching adoption. We chose an adoption agency in Kansas, completed our home study, and became a waiting family in May. There have been days where the wait has felt short and others where the wait has felt unbearably long.
Lately I’ve found myself asking if we’ve done everything we can. I’m a planner and to endure this wait I have to be able to say I’ve done everything I can right now. Not having control over the length of our adoption journey has been so hard.
One option we never considered was ivf. We thought it would take years to save up the money for either ivf or adoption and couldn’t stand the thought of ivf not working and having to start saving all over again. Surprisingly we were able to save the needed money for adoption over this last year. We never thought that would be possible, I almost cried the first time I did our budget when we started considering adoption and it was looking like it might take 3-4 years to save enough money. Thanks to Josh’s new job and a lot of side work we have been able to save what we needed.
Now that we had the money saved, ivf could be an option but thinking about changing our path felt strange. How could we just change our minds after all the time we’ve spent planning to adopt and after already being a waiting family for 6 months? Before I even told Josh about this crazy idea I spent time researching it. What are the costs? What does ivf look like with the fertility clinic we had already gone to?
Through my research I found out that our fertility clinic participates with a company that has a risk sharing program. You get a reduced rate on your treatment, but you pay for multiple cycles at one time. If it works the first time you don’t get the money back that was paid for the other cycles. I also found out that same company had a program that gives a discount to public service professionals, and teachers were on the list. There was also another program where you could get a portion of your money refunded if ivf was unsuccessful for you, if you meet their criteria to qualify for the program.
I took all this information and shared my crazy idea with Josh, and to my surprise he didn’t think it was all that crazy. We found ourselves seriously considering ivf (and we were quite shocked). We decided we would book a consultation appointment with our fertility clinic and go from there.
Our consultation went really well. Looking at our medical records they feel we have a great chance of success. I asked about the discount program that included teachers, they said they hadn’t heard they could include teachers and currently only had veterans on the program. They said they would definitely check into it for us. Within two weeks they had teachers added. We’ve spent the last few weeks having different tests done to prepare for ivf and to find out if we could qualify for the refund program.
We are still working out our plan but we felt it was the right time to share with our friends and family that we are now pursuing building our family through ivf. We know that this could be unsuccessful and that we may end up back on the path to adoption, and that’s okay. Right now this feels right. I know that if we try ivf but end up back at adoption we can say we have tried everything, and my hope is that the wait to adopt will be a little easier knowing that. We can’t wait to see where this new path on our adventure takes us.